Nobody Smokes Here Anymore

A recent article in the Courier Mail highlighted yet another absurd and Monty Pythonesque situation which has come about as a result of the Queensland Government's new anti-smoking laws. It seems that Queensland golf clubs are being forced to designate smoking and non smoking holes on the course. Even more absurd, it seems smokers will be allowed to smoke on certain parts of a given hole, but not on others. For example: on certain holes at Wynnum Golf Course, smoking will be banned from the tee area to the watercourse, but allowed from the water to the green.

To use an analogy of which I am particularly fond, this seems to make about as much sense as having a separate part of the ocean for pissing. I've had enough of these uppity fuckers from the Cancer Council et al. Let's get one thing straight. Anti-smokers are a bunch of obnoxious, self righteous zealots whose primary desire is to impose their will on every member of society. Don't fool yourself, they don't give a flying fuck if you die from cancer or develop emphysema. All those horrendous pictures on cigarette packs are not there because non smokers want to help you. They are there because non smokers figure if they can scare a few people out of smoking, the world will be more to their liking.

We have millions of motor vehicles choking our streets and spewing toxic chemicals into the air, jet aircraft taking off every couple of minutes, industries sending mushroom clouds of lung destroying gunk billowing into the sky, and yet we are being comprehensively shafted by a self righteous bunch of skittish fanatics who have the gall to insist that cigarette smoking be banned in large, open, outdoor areas where people gather for recreational purposes.

It was bad enough when they banned it in pubs. Remember those ads with the bar staff saying they shouldn't have to go home with a sore throat and sore eyes from working in a smoky pub? Look sweetheart if you don't like cigarettes don't work in a fucking pub! You don't become a coal miner if you're scared of the dark do you?

Do us all a favour. Next time you're about to saddle up your high horse, think about how many cigarettes worth of chemicals come out of your exhaust pipe every week. Then shut the fuck up.