Not in those shoes mate...

Nightclub bouncers, here are few things for you to consider.

1. The greasy looking product in your buzz cut and your pointy sideburns do not make you in any way qualified to comment on the fashion sense of others. Most of you look like a mashed up Freddo Frog in an ill fitting suit.
2. The fact you didn't get into the police force is nobody else's fault.
3. You check ID cards for a living. This humble occupation in no way justifies the outrageous egos many of you seem to carry. You're standing in the doorway of a dime a dozen club, not at the entrance to the Oval Office. How about losing the attitude?
4. We take it for granted that you're probably on the dim side, however if you can't tell the difference between a 30 year old woman and a 17 year old girl you're a fucking moron.
5. The perpetual scowl on your face doesn't make you look tough or cool. It makes you look like an angry monkey.

Why do we put up with these oversized, fashion nazi, meatheads? Why does anyone accept as normal the idea that their suitability to buy alcohol in a venue is somehow dependant on the type of fabric their shoes are made of? And can someone please explain to me what the fuck "it's not the kind of look we're going for tonight" means?