They Ought to Race Sheep

I fucking hate the Melbourne Cup for several reasons but first among them is that it turns otherwise decent people into complete fuckwits.

"Oh yeah I like the look of (insert horse name here). His last five starts have been impressive and he always does well on a wet track."

Remove your hand from your wang old son. You didn't see his last five starts. You've just regurgitated what you read in the paper this morning in a piss weak attempt to sound like you know what you're talking about.

The fact that a depressingly large percentage of the population drops everything and goes absolutely apeshit over a fucking horse race really doesn't say much for our collective intelligence.

Horse racing is not sport. It's a bunch of midgets in silk shirts whipping the shit out of animals that have no idea why they're running, while a pack of sheep in human clothing cheer widly despite not having the first fucking clue which brightly clad midget is riding the horse they've put a tenner on.

Go back to the herd morons.